11 January 2009
Page 52
"I had watched the whole scene without moving. I kept quiet. In fact I was thinking of how to get farther away so that I would not be hit myself. What is more, any anger I felt at that moment was directed not against the Kapo, but against my father. I was angry with him for not knowing how to avoid Idek's outbreak. That is what concentration camp life had made of me.
That must have nearly torn him apart to have realized that. I don't think that it necessarily means that he loves his father any less, it's just that his own survival instincts were kicking in. He couldn't save his father if he didn't save himself first. But I really doubt he thought of that at the time.
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